It Smells Like a Muppet's Butthole

It's been over a year since I introduced you to my first semi-hollow guitar Cherrie King, and ever since then she's been leaning against some towels in hopes she doesn't fall over and get damaged. Almost all of my guitars have hard cases, or at least some form of protection, so Cherrie deserves something too. The problem wasn't getting her a case, it's more what case would be fitting for Cherrie? Well, shortly after I acquired Cherrie I binged youtube videos about ES-335 guitars. The one that really stuck with me is Gibson TV's famous guitarists favorite ES-335 guitars. When Charlie Starr opened the case and I saw that marigold interior contrasting the cherry red of his ES-335TDC, I knew that was the case Cherrie needed. Then came researching what my options were. A) I could track down an original 1960s Gibson hard case for an ES-335. B) I could buy a modern Gibson Historic version of the original 1960s Gibson hard case for an ES-335. Or C) I could buy a modern Epiphone replica. Well, the issues there are option A is quite expensive, and I'm notoriously cheap. Option B is also quite expensive, and I'm still notoriously cheap. C) The black and marigold Epiphone cases weren't offered for individual sale, so I would have to buy it with a guitar already in it. If I did find an empty one, something horrible must have happened to the guitar.

Charlie Starr's 64 ES-335TDC

For months I debated my options. Even at one point hoping someone I knew would find the case I want at a thrift store or flea market for a few bucks and give it to me. That didn't happen. As my patience wore thinner I questioned if I would stick to my guns and wait for a black and marigold case, or would I settle for any ES-335 case just to give Cherrie protection? When it comes to ES-335 cases there are so many options out there. Almost any color combo, except the black and marigold like I wanted, can be found fairly inexpensively. I was starting to think maybe I should just settle for whatever inexpensive hard case I could get, and that's when a case of mistaken identity occurred.

While cruising Facebook Marketplace I found a listing for an unsuspecting black hard case that I was pretty sure would fit an ES-335. The other photos displayed both the shape, and the marigold interior. I spent a week debating whether it was what I thought it was, while also trying to talk myself out of it, because there's no way this could be true. I eventually told myself even if it's a complete counterfeit the price is still right for an ES-335 case. I asked the seller for more photos, and... HOLY F**K! Are you kidding me? There was the brass Gibson plaque riveted right to the side of the case. I turned to Google Images to further research 1960's ES-335 cases. I was doing a lot of eye shifting, back and forth between the photos from the seller and the Google Images, trying to find differences to prove to myself this wasn't real. After finding a few 1960s ES-335 cases that matched identically I put the wheels in motion to make the purchase.

Here comes the cautionary moral of the story. After getting the case home I placed Cherrie inside and it was nowhere near a perfect fit, although she looks great in the marigold interior. First of all, it smells like a Muppet's butthole inside. Secondly, these vintage cases aren't that great. It's ok for protecting Cherrie around the house from external bumps, but with the interior being worn down I can hear Cherrie moving inside the case when I pick it up. The latches are "Weapons grade useless", I believe is the term. Apparently over time these handles become super brittle, so I'm avoiding using it, which makes it cumbersome to move around. Was it worth what I paid for it? YES! A million times yes! Am I upset it's not as protective as I hoped? Kind of, but I did add a yellow towel for some extra padding in the places where it's needed. I hope that prevents a whole lotta shakin' going on.

Ooh, that smell! Can't you smell that smell?

Vintage cases can still serve a purpose, just not the one they used to. Keep them safe at home, and not on the road. Again, they'll protect your guitars from bumps at home, keep them clean, etc., but they really serve no purpose beyond home protection, and I guess the prestige of having a vintage guitar case. The most ironic thing is I wanted this case so badly to protect Cherrie, but I really miss being able to grab her from where she used to be leaning and play her for hours on end. Now there are a few more steps, and again it's cumbersome to move the case around without using the handle. Worst of all, when I remove her from her case that Muppet's butthole smell she's been soaking up from inside the case is now right in my face. I got this case for such a good deal I couldn't say no, but even so it's a cautionary tale on lose all expectation when you meet your heroes.

My Pickup Predicament

When I first started playing guitar, pickups were pickups. As long as they made noise, they were good. Eventually I started listening to how pickups did their job, which started my journey to finding my sound. My inspirations span a wide variety, so I've decide to allow each guitar to tell me what their voice is. Being a broke bedroom rockstar I also need to find my sound on a tight budget, which wasn't always possible. Back in the day unless you shelled out money for a guitar already equipped with good pickups, or you shelled out money to buy better replacements, you were stuck with the cheapest space fillers it came with. Most of my guitars still have their stock pickups due to that fact, which is fine for some, but others leave quite a bit to be desired.

 

Such is the case with Cherrie, who I genuinely feel isn't reaching her full potential because of  the stock "Peavey Humbucking Pickups". Every guitar has a personality and a voice, in this case I feel her pickups are actively working against her, and not allowing her true voice to come through. These pickups are just your standard import pickups of the day. They were designed to span all genres and allow the player to decide what they wanted to play. Cherrie truly sounds her best when we're playing something bluesy. It feels as if she relaxes and she's comfortable in her element. The stock pickups aren't horrible, in fact the neck pickup is actually pretty nice, after some adjustments. My main complaints are the neck pickup still gets a bit muddy with chords, and the super hot bridge pickup just doesn't feel right. These pickups would feel more at home in a metal centric guitar, but for Cherrie they're just not vibing.

Given that Cherrie wants to be a blues guitar, she would probably benefit the most from PAF style pickups. The problem being PAFs were never uniform, so the term PAF is a fairly broad definition rather than an exact formula. When it comes to modern PAF copies some people want to argue about nickel-silver content, long legs vs short legs, maple vs plastic spacers, all of the different magnets alloys, winds per bobbin, etc. I've heard real PAFs sound like dying cats, and I've heard super cheap PAF clones sound fairly decent, and everything in between. What's most important to me is how do they sound?  I think Cherrie wants a set of PAFs that give her that Burst Killer tone, while also being a refined blues lady.

When it comes to true PAF copies, I guess most people would look at Gibson, as they're the ones who started this whole mess. If it hadn't been for Seth Lover's partnership with Gibson, who knows what music would sound like today. My Les Paul has Burstbucker Pros in it, and it gives me all that raw PAF snarl that I need, and a touch more, so I would certainly consider Burstbuckers, but they're a bit on the expensive side for me. Hot on the heels of Gibson, I think, would be Seymour Duncan. Seymour Duncan makes a myriad of PAF style pickups, but again some of these aren't within my reach. A lot of people would argue Throbak are superior to both Gibson and Seymour Duncan, I wouldn't disagree, it's just you can't touch a decent set of Throbaks with broke, bedroom rockstar money.

Another brand that makes a lot of PAF style pickups are DiMarzio. The sad fact there is I've never met a DiMarzio pickup that I liked. When I bought my Westone Dana, used mind you, it came with a DiMarzio FRED in it, and I hated it. This has been over 30 years ago, so I can't quite remember why. A few years back I bought a DiMarzio HS-3 for my Yngwie on a budget clone, and I absolutely hated it too. I knew it was super low output, but trying to get distortion from a DiMarzio HS-3 is like trying to fart with a speculum up your ass. I'm not against DiMarzio, they've just never given me what I wanted to hear, so I'll pass.

Again, since I'm a broke ass, we're going to skip all of the boutique brands like Throbak, Wizz, Monty's, Bare Knuckle, Vaughn Skow, etc. I'm going to have to look at the import market. There are some import PAFs that seem to have a really good reputation. Epiphone's Probuckers, ToneRider, and even super cheap $30 ebay no name, or Donlis PAFs all seem pretty decently appreciated. The Amazon route isn't something I oppose. The Powersound humbuckers in my RG270DX sound horrible, so I later replaced them with an Amazon DiMarzio style set that look and sound so much better. This is where waters get muddied, but not in a completely bad way. Having more options is a good thing, and a bad thing, if you're like me. I wish I had $30 per set options that sounded decent when I was a kid. 

My problem is I've been researching affordable PAF style pickups for a few months now, and it's become option paralysis at this point. With manufacturing costs being dirt cheap in the far east, decent sounding pickups for affordable prices are all over the place. Yet there are still caveats of knowing exactly what you're buying. Within my brain there is a battle between being frugal and getting the best price on good sounding pickups, or pay extra to avoid the pitfalls of potentially buying junk and just getting a known good sounding set of PAFs. I want the best PAFs I can get for Cherrie, within my budget, but I don't want to miss out on a really good set that could also save me some money. Probuckers seem great, ToneRiders aren't bad, but the much cheaper Donlis sound pretty good too. Heck, I may already have a set of Donlis PAFs. I bought a set of cream PAFs on Amazon a few years back that. They look exactly like the cream Donlis PAFs that apparently are so good they go head to head with the big boys.

So what do I do about replacing the humbuckers in Cherrie? I don't know! For now, the eternal search continues to find that balance of price and tone. Wish me luck!

Finding the Best Twang for My Buck!

I'm going to start this off by thanking John Spinks of The Outfield. Seeing him play a red Telecaster in the music video for Your Love taught me that Telecasters weren't just for country chicken pickin'. Not that country chicken pickin' is bad, it's just the playing style that I mostly (used to) associate with a Telecaster. Then came John 5, which blew the doors open to the Telecaster being used for all genres. Yeah there's Keith Richards, Jimmy Page, Pete Townsend, Joe Strummer, and Bruce Springsteen, but the one that originally made me stop, think, and genuinely want a Telecaster was John Spinks of The Outfield. While John Spinks made me want a Telecaster, it was seeing Gary Moore playing one that put the plan into motion for me to actually obtain one, thus starting my pursuit of finding the best twang for my buck. See what I did there?

The past few years have been a wild ride and, apart from blogging and building pedal circuits, I've spent a lot of my time researching guitars that I want. B.B. King, Freddie King, Gary Moore, and Warren Haynes made me want a semi-hollow guitar, so I bought Cherrie. Joe Bonamassa and Amos made me want a korina flying v, and I always will. Now I'm delving into the world of Telecasters, and just like with the korina flying v, it's an insanely deep rabbit hole. Unlike the korina flying v, however, I don't feel like I'll never be able to obtain the genuine article. Fender have been making Telecasters forever, and there are so many choices, making this such a deep rabbit hole. I'm currently aiming at the sub $200 market, just to dip my toes. While a Fender Telecaster would be awesome, I'm currently not able to justify buying a guitar of that caliber just to play blues riffs in my bedroom.

The affordable Telecaster market is filled with options. You've got your Squiers, Harley Benton, Xavier SX, Mono Price Indio, Lyx, Donner, Glarry, no name Temu, the list goes on and on. I even debated a First Act Overtone, which is a Telecaster shaped body with Stratocaster adornments. I've seen so many brand options that I finally had to decide what features I wanted most. Ideally I want a butterscotch blackguard, string through the back, with as close to a Fender Telecaster style headstock as possible, with vintage style tuners. Narrowing down to these features took quite a few options out of contention, but there are still so many options. Then I figured parts can be changed, such as the tuners, bridge, pickguard, and pickups, which we'll discuss a little bit later. This understanding further narrowed it down even further. Now I essentially had to sift through a pile of Squiers, and that's totally fine with me because even with just one brand left there are still so many options.

Years ago I bought a Squier Affinity Strat neck from the Goodwill Outlet store, and I'm pretty sure I spent under $1 for it. The profile is a bit slim, but it's not uncomfortable, and I was impressed with the wood Squier used for the Affinity series. Looking at Squiers current Affinity series Telecaster you get a really nice deal, they even offer a butterscotch blackguard! On the used market these things are dirt cheap, and I've seen a few floating around, but there's something off about them. Upon further research the bodies and necks are thinner, and they're 21 frets instead of 22. While these aren't deal breakers, again I'm looking for the best twang for my buck here, so we'll sit the Affinity on the sidelines for now and keep looking. There are the Classic Vibes, the Vintage Modifieds and all kind of really great options, but these all come with really great option prices, so I'll keep looking.

That's when it hit me. I'm not looking for anything extraordinary, I just want something standard. That's it! For about two decades Squier made their Standard series, which included an aged blonde Telecaster at some point. Perfect! It fills all of my Telecaster needs, and what doesn't can easily be changed. You get the Fender backed quality of a Squier, a Telecaster body that strings through the back, the Telecaster headstock on a thicker neck than that Affinity series, and alnico five pickups. Which strangely makes me a bit sad, as I was hoping for something with ceramic pickups. A few years ago I bought a set of cheap, alleged, alnico five Telecaster pickups from Amazon and installed them in my cheap Peavey Rockmaster, which never filled that Telecaster shaped void I'm still trying to fill. I was hoping I could upgrade an inexpensive Telecaster to A5 pickups, but in this case I feel it would be a downgrade.

Now I know what I want, and what I'll be looking for. Again, Squier made these things for almost twenty years, so there are still a ton of options. I've already seen a few Squier Standard Telecasters on Marketplace for $200, give or take. I may still try the Amazon pickups to see how they sound, but I think Squier should already have a decent A5 pickup set inside, but we'll see. For now, I'll continue looking and wait for that right one to pop up and leave no doubt in my mind that it's the right one for me.