There for a while I was addicted to a hot sauce called Valentina, thanks to my ex fiancée. To fill the void when she left I started trying dollar store hot sauces. Louisiana Hot Sauce was my favorite, with Texas Pete being adequate. I then started to wonder where Taco Bell's sauces would rank. I used to love their Fire Roasted salsa packets so much that I would order Taco Bell for no other reason than to have an excuse to hoard the salsa packets, or just drink them straight. So where does their current line up of sauces rank?
Mild
I've never been a fan of Taco Bell's mild sauce. It's always tasted and looked like dish water to me. There is a slightly sweet smell that doesn't really excite me one way or another. I'll use it, if forced to, but I usually try to avoid it.
Hot
Hot has the same flavor and texture as mild, but with a little kick to it. The overall experience is pretty much the same as a mild packet, just a tiny bit of heat and some chunks. If you read the ingredients it's just mild with some jalapenos thrown in to add bite.
Fire
Fire is thicker, has some chunks and brings the heat. A nice flavor, a nice texture and a good amount of heat. It has a very olfactory pleasing smoky scent that gets my salivation glands working overtime.
Diablo
Diablo sauce has a smoky scent to it that immediately excites my taste buds. It's slightly thinner than fire, but still thicker than mild or hot, with a nice smooth texture. As soon as it hits my tongue I detect a sweet, smoky flavor that quickly evolves into heat engulfing my palate. The heat lingers for a while, much longer than with fire.
Breakfast Salsa
Breakfast Salsa was introduced to me when I chose Taco Bell's breakfast burritos on the road to thrift stores, slathered in their breakfast salsa. These packets are slightly taller and contain the nectar of the Gods! It's a bit sweet, thinner than both fire and diablo, but still thicker than hot and mild, and is filled with chunks, as good salsa should be. The heat is somewhere between hot and fire, leaning more toward the hot sauce. The jalapeno chunks add something, but not too much.
Avocado Verde Salsa
These cost money, so it's rare that I will ever use them. I did give them a try and I wasn't very impressed with it. I remember it was thin, but the flavor wasn't bad. It was about what you could expect of something called avocado salsa. Again, since they're charging 20 cents for these I don't get them.
Of all these sauces I prefer Fire, Diablo and Breakfast Salsa. If it's not going onto Taco Bell, directly into my mouth, or onto a Mexican inspired meal, it's usually going on tuna salad. You see, that ex fiancée that I mentioned earlier once made some really good tuna salad, and I've been chasing her recipe ever since. She ghosted me after ten years, so I can't just outright ask her what it was, but I try to replicate it the best I can. I shovel a little bit of my tuna and mayo concoction onto a cracker and then cover it in one of my favorite Taco Bell sauces. For purist results these reviews were written after drinking a packet of each flavor straight. I couldn't give accurate reviews with pesky food sullying the flavors.
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