It Smells Like a Muppet's Butthole

It's been over a year since I introduced you to my first semi-hollow guitar Cherrie King, and ever since then she's been leaning against some towels in hopes she doesn't fall over and get damaged. Almost all of my guitars have hard cases, or at least some form of protection, so Cherrie deserves something too. The problem wasn't getting her a case, it's more what case would be fitting for Cherrie? Well, shortly after I acquired Cherrie I binged youtube videos about ES-335 guitars. The one that really stuck with me is Gibson TV's famous guitarists favorite ES-335 guitars. When Charlie Starr opened the case and I saw that marigold interior contrasting the cherry red of his ES-335TDC, I knew that was the case Cherrie needed. Then came researching what my options were. A) I could track down an original 1960s Gibson hard case for an ES-335. B) I could buy a modern Gibson Historic version of the original 1960s Gibson hard case for an ES-335. Or C) I could buy a modern Epiphone replica. Well, the issues there are option A is quite expensive, and I'm notoriously cheap. Option B is also quite expensive, and I'm still notoriously cheap. C) The black and marigold Epiphone cases weren't offered for individual sale, so I would have to buy it with a guitar already in it. If I did find an empty one, something horrible must have happened to the guitar.

Charlie Starr's 64 ES-335TDC

For months I debated my options. Even at one point hoping someone I knew would find the case I want at a thrift store or flea market for a few bucks and give it to me. That didn't happen. As my patience wore thinner I questioned if I would stick to my guns and wait for a black and marigold case, or would I settle for any ES-335 case just to give Cherrie protection? When it comes to ES-335 cases there are so many options out there. Almost any color combo, except the black and marigold like I wanted, can be found fairly inexpensively. I was starting to think maybe I should just settle for whatever inexpensive hard case I could get, and that's when a case of mistaken identity occurred.

While cruising Facebook Marketplace I found a listing for an unsuspecting black hard case that I was pretty sure would fit an ES-335. The other photos displayed both the shape, and the marigold interior. I spent a week debating whether it was what I thought it was, while also trying to talk myself out of it, because there's no way this could be true. I eventually told myself even if it's a complete counterfeit the price is still right for an ES-335 case. I asked the seller for more photos, and... HOLY F**K! Are you kidding me? There was the brass Gibson plaque riveted right to the side of the case. I turned to Google Images to further research 1960's ES-335 cases. I was doing a lot of eye shifting, back and forth between the photos from the seller and the Google Images, trying to find differences to prove to myself this wasn't real. After finding a few 1960s ES-335 cases that matched identically I put the wheels in motion to make the purchase.

Here comes the cautionary moral of the story. After getting the case home I placed Cherrie inside and it was nowhere near a perfect fit, although she looks great in the marigold interior. First of all, it smells like a Muppet's butthole inside. Secondly, these vintage cases aren't that great. It's ok for protecting Cherrie around the house from external bumps, but with the interior being worn down I can hear Cherrie moving inside the case when I pick it up. The latches are "Weapons grade useless", I believe is the term. Apparently over time these handles become super brittle, so I'm avoiding using it, which makes it cumbersome to move around. Was it worth what I paid for it? YES! A million times yes! Am I upset it's not as protective as I hoped? Kind of, but I did add a yellow towel for some extra padding in the places where it's needed. I hope that prevents a whole lotta shakin' going on.

Ooh, that smell! Can't you smell that smell?

Vintage cases can still serve a purpose, just not the one they used to. Keep them safe at home, and not on the road. Again, they'll protect your guitars from bumps at home, keep them clean, etc., but they really serve no purpose beyond home protection, and I guess the prestige of having a vintage guitar case. The most ironic thing is I wanted this case so badly to protect Cherrie, but I really miss being able to grab her from where she used to be leaning and play her for hours on end. Now there are a few more steps, and again it's cumbersome to move the case around without using the handle. Worst of all, when I remove her from her case that Muppet's butthole smell she's been soaking up from inside the case is now right in my face. I got this case for such a good deal I couldn't say no, but even so it's a cautionary tale on lose all expectation when you meet your heroes.