Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Gran Turismo

Nothing gets my blood pumping like a good old run through Gran Turismo. I don't mean adrenaline, I mean this game pisses me off like no other, especially with the critically impossible license tests! The racing can be frustration, but the absolute worst are those fucking license tests, considering you can't do much in the game without getting your license first.

The whole series is plagued with this fatal flaw, the equivalent of asking someone to take a Ford Tempo and do a 30 second lap around the Indianapolis Motor Speeday. It can't be done! Oh yes it can, if you wish it to be! -- Sure Gran Turismo, sure!

Why the licenses are so aneurysm inducing is because it doesn't play by any of the rules that the rest of the game has to follow, and its a good thing too because if the rest of the game were this strict nobody would play it! But why do we need to follow rules that don't apply in the real thing, the license tests are too much like someone suddenly being burdened by a mathematical equation where they first need to figure out the numerical value of L. Oh sure they taught you that in school, but 99% of the active populous NEVER have to use it.

Tests that require me to apex 3 or 4 corners in a few seconds are frustration as they sometimes set the out of bounds exactly where I need to aim, but what really pisses me off are the whole lap tests. If I aim too far on an apex and get sent back to the starting line, I can do it over and over again, frustrating but no big deal. But when I'm 2 minutes into a 2:20 jaunt around a track and I slide into the wall because the severely under powered car you've sent me out in won't pull out of an over steer, well I want to fucking slit your fucking tires and piss in your gas tank.

You start off with shitty clunkers and they set such impossible goals, its as if they had a robotic Ayrton Senna set these times. They're also quite unapologetic about how hard it is to get gold. I'll take bronze all day long, as long as I don't need to repeat a single test all day long, which is almost what happens the higher up you get.

Gran Turismo makers, cut the shit and lighten up on the fucking license tests. We know how to play the game, just stop being unreasonable about the demands for licensing. Prime example of how a great, fresh idea can be taken way too far and turn a game from a great idea into a complete waste of time.

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